A story about feedback…

A number of years ago I wrote a blog post and sent it out to my community.

It was a from-the-heart post that I didn’t plan or overly edit – I simply wrote it and hit publish before I could second-guess it.

Fairly quickly, a number of emails came in thanking me for my words, telling me that it was just what they needed to hear.

And then came the other email.

A woman I’d never interacted with before proceeded to tell me that my post was garbage (yes, she used that word) and that it was the kind of junk she loathed and had no time for.

I remember sitting at a Starbucks reading her words and literally feeling like I was going to faint as I looked around the coffeehouse wondering if anyone else knew what an imposter I was.

It was an awful moment at the time, though I can laugh about it now.

Over time, it’s gotten easier to separate my own personal worth from whatever I create or say that gets critiqued (ha, doesn’t that make it sound like such a high-brow thing?).

And the only thing that’s really made that any easier is to just keep putting stuff out there and getting the feedback as it comes – unsolicited or not.

This is hard to do though, isn’t it? As women, we are culturally conditioned to be nice, to not offend and to never make someone else uncomfortable. We see it as a personal failing if someone doesn’t like our work…or us.

We know cognitively that it shouldn’t hit us so hard, but man, the emotional part of us feels differently doesn’t it? Truth be told, sometimes I don’t put stuff out there for fear of what someone might say.

In this week’s podcast episode, I share 10 lessons and tips I’ve learned about how to navigate getting feedback so go give that a listen if you need some new tools.

In the meantime though, what I keep thinking about is commitment. How a deep commitment to your work, your mission and your inherent value to the world is what’s needed to weather the storms inside the arena.

Last night a friend told me about a performance she had seen where the performer was anything but conventional (to put it mildly).

She was struck by this woman’s ability to bear all on stage. “Watching her perform made me have such admiration for how much commitment she has to her creative work to continue doing it, despite what must be non-stop feedback and criticism.”

What I’ve learned is that feedback and criticism don’t go away when we become better or when we get a promotion or when we make all the money and have all the influence. If nothing else, growth and success only amplifies it.

So unless you want to stay small and hover below your potential, figuring out how to deal with feedback and stay committed to your work – well, that IS the work.

And this is work worth doing.

I know this because years after I published that ‘garbage’ post, a friend sent me a photo of her friend’s fridge. On the fridge of a woman I’ve never met, was that exact blog post – printed on paper and stuck with a magnet for her to see my words every day.

Steph x

p.s. we are going to spend a lot of time on feedback, difficult conversations and more inside LEAD.Well. We’d love to support you. There are also only a few more days to sign up and take advantage of our special bonus January ecourse.

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🎧 FRESH ON THE PODCAST

We often say that we welcome feedback, but the truth is that most of actively avoid it. 😬 In this week’s episode, I share a personal story of receiving hard feedback and the lessons I learned.

If we’re putting anything of consequence out into the world, feedback is inevitable. Here’s how to navigate it well.

Listen on Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Stitcher | Web

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💡 FRESH, HAND-PICKED RESOURCES

Curated links from around the web to help you work well, live well and lead well. Plus a few of my favourite things.

How Reese took charge of her career and changed Hollywood

Speaking of having the commitment and perseverance to navigate other people’s ideas for who you should be, let this piece about Reese Witherspoon inspire you.

>> Read more here.

The only one who has heard all of it

Seth always has the words I need to read. I so easily default into, “Everyone already knows. They’ve heard me talk about it before. Telling them again is overkill.” And yet…that’s neither true, nor the full picture.

>> Read more here.

The Daily Good

I don’t know about you, but in this the-world-is-on-fire-literally-and-figuratively times, it’s nice to hear some good news too. Enter The Daily Good – a “30 second read delivered to your inbox each morning with tips for mindful living.” Sign me up – I’m in.

>> Check it out here.

These are a few of my favourite things…

🏵 What a great idea! I’ll be sending myself (and my kids) one of these.

🏵 Made this last night, and I swear I could eat it forever. So good.

🏵 This quote: “Information is knowledge which is merely acquired and stored up; wisdom is knowledge operating in the direction of powers to the better living of life.” ~ John Dewey

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🎉 LEAD.Well

Sign on as a founding member of LEAD.Well, a leadership subscription for women ready to be better, braver leaders and lock in our $10/month price for as long as you’re a member.

BONUS: special FRESH START: Planning with a Purpose ecourse only for January subscribers.

Check it out here.

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💥THE WEEK IN A GIF

Bringing on the weekend like…